Luna Station Quarterly is a speculative fiction magazine featuring stories by emerging women authors.
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The Position Will Remain Open Until the Job Is Filled

by Tracy Townsend

Notice of Available Positions: Crones, All Experience Levels Desired

Narrative Personnel Staffing Services LLC prides itself on providing storytellers and their Heroes with reliable access to the best and most essential story resources. Specializing in Villains, Sidekicks, Henchmen, Allies, ready-made Four Man and Five Man bands, Cute Shoulder Dragons, and (of course) various love interests and family members (from the essential to the disposable), NPSS is a storytelling industry leader in quality, consistency, and brand recognizability.

Radical shifts in the current social and political environment have challenged all providers in the narrative sector to adapt their services to meet new demands, and NPSS is no different. The demand for Heroes has risen sharply over the last two years, and with it experienced support staff, including Sages, Veterans, and Chosen Ones. However, the market is showing a trend toward leveraging the authority of women (cis and noncis), which means that Crones are also experiencing a sharp increase in narrative placement rates, particularly in stories involving rising women Heroes. To meet this rising demand, NPSS seeks to hire a qualified pool of Crones based on both required attributes and experience.

Image credit: www.starshipnivan.com

NPSS encourages all new applicants, regardless of background and experience, showing special preference to Crones who:

 

NPSS’s Crone benefits package includes:

  • Comprehensive magical insurance coverage.
  • Flexible hours with a preference for working out of the home.
  • Connection to a vast historical network of your fellow Crones.
  • Fostering the success of a new generation of Heroes.
  • Beating back the darkness.
  • Ushering in a new dawn.
  • Confronting ignorance and stamping out hate.
  • Hexing the unworthy (for vengeful or educational purposes).

 

NPSS is pleased to offer storytellers the resources they need to tell the tales the world requires. In a reality fraught with division and marked by campaigns to maintain stagnant, regressive power, the rising Heroes of narrative require the support, guidance, and goading of their Crones: dismissive of the judgments of others, committed to serving their causes against any odds, and capable of cooking up literal and figurative trouble in a cast-iron cauldron. We hope to count you among our applicants for Crone positions.

If you are uncertain if you qualify for Crone consideration at this time, we recommend you enter one of the many Crone training and mentorship programs available to women today. NPSS and its storytelling clients and their readers require your competent services now more than ever.

 

Image credit: Lucasfilm media, Disney

A bit about the columnist:

Tracy Townsend teaches creative writing and sf/f literature at the Illinois Mathematics and Science Academy, a public boarding school for gifted students. She has two dogs and two children, but only one husband. If she's not teaching or writing, she's probably on Twitter (@TracyATownsend) being opinionated about books, comics, movies, and soup. Visit author page